A journey with no end

----  Thoughts  ----

It's inherent in my personality to take short cuts. As a kid I was never motivated to do more than enough to pass, doing just enough work to coast through with Bs. Thankfully I'm capable of not doing much and still getting Bs but having developed a habit of accepting the minimum, my mentality is, has, never been one of an overachiever. My focus has always been more on working hard, earning money, and paying the bills. With 3 jobs I had to keep track of I never had time to read or travel or have fun. Instead I learned to be independent at a very young age.

School is done. I have a sense of security, or an idea of where to go from here, in where I am and I'm finally discovering a little bit of myself. But the amount of time it took for me to get to this place has left me feeling like I'm playing catch up. I have this sort of manic desire to learn everything and to do it immediately; my lack of patience rearing its ugly head. I have grown so used to running a million miles at a time that I've never just stopped and enjoyed where I was at any given time. And now I want to travel everywhere, learn everything, meet everyone, experience everything. But I also have responsibilities, like pay my mortgage and go to my job, that hinder me from doing what I always wanted to do before.

I have been thinking about the state of this blog lately. The list which this journal stemmed from came out of a place of disappointment and discontent with where my life was at the time. I felt that I needed to better myself with new experiences, through exposure to the unknown, and forcing myself to be open with the rest of the world. Strictly speaking it has been a success; however I have come to a new understanding of myself and where I should go from here. In theory the list is still a good idea but I believe that the things which I have listed are no longer applicable for the direction that I want to take myself.

I have become more steadfast in my faith as a Christian. As I become more aware of and closer to God my eyes have been opened to a new direction. Life no longer seems to be about myself but rather a journey. I no longer want to have an end goal (i.e. be a better person) rather I want to simply live life, enjoy it, and do it in a way that exudes love towards others. I have not decided how this will affect the blog yet. Most likely I will just amend the existing list or make a new one entirely.

In the meantime I have lots of things keeping me busy. This weekend I will  be converting a dresser I found at a flea market into an entertainment center for my living room. Repainting it and doing general handyman type things to it. I have never painted or built anything in my life...so that should be fun.

----  Muzak  ----

JAMES BLAKE IS COMING OUT WITH A NEW ALBUM EVERYONE.

You don't know who that is? Well here ya go. James, meet....everyone.



James, I really do love you. I love every note that comes out of you, every little post step in your dub.. I just hope you understand this and will visit me sometime soon. XOXO, Sarah

Anywho. I've been listening to whole new mess of music lately. Some is new. Some is not. Enjoy.




how to destroy angels_
An Omen EP_

htda's first album sounded like a NIN album. And yet I couldn't enjoy it. It felt as though Reznor was writing another NIN album but didn't know how to write for this new voice. Whatever he figured out, it worked for this new album. Maandig's voice and Reznor's music meld perfectly.

Toro Y Moi
Anything in Return
I am not that dancing type of person. Repeat. I do not dance. However...this album makes me want to change that part of myself. If just for a few minutes.



The Lone Bellow
I was blown away when I heard that this guy had never picked up a guitar or sang before he wrote this music. I've had many moments in my life where I'll grab one of my guitars and think "Maybe this time it will click and something awesome will come out of me." But I always end up strumming the same 3 chords over and over until my fingers bleed. Not only did this guy successfully write some songs but they're so...so great.



Exitmusic
Passage
This band is really good at creating expectancy and then releasing it in a slow, very slow tension filled release. It's not necessarily an uplifting one either but it's fascinating when the lead just bellows it out after a long build.



Burial
Truant / Rough Sleeper
I'm new to Burial. I guess he's been around for awhile but his new 2 track album is the first I've been exposed to. He's an ambient dubstep artist. I've been in love with this style of music for the past year or so and he fits perfectly into the mold.